Dealing and Drag Queens

Day 239

Okay, can I be honest? I am about to puke from booze consumption, I just ate a cookie bar that may have had pot in it (who knows, it was left at my door), and I just got home from a long bus ride and off the phone with a friend of mine whose best friend died like an hour ago. I am tired, I am sad, and I am grateful, and not very funny right now. Her friend I had only met once just last week, but he liked me so much that he begged me (literally) that I stay at the party we were at. I went home that night. I thought of the stories he told me and the way he drew in strangers with his warmth.

I know it sounds all high school death scene (you know, when a classmate you barely know dies and all you can think about is how sad you are) but really, high school death scenes are just reality checks. Little knocks upside the head to say, "Hey motherfucker, we all die. Live your life. Quit letting your pettiness destroy you. Be nice to people."

While my friend was in the hospital with a horde of mourners recounting stories of better days and sharing a disbelief in circumstance, my other friends and I were playing bingo with drag queens. I won twice. I guess this is unprecedented. I am lucky. Here is a sampling of the loot I scored and shared:

2 posters with stupid paintings on them
2 bath haus packages with cum rags and a beach ball in them
1 tester tube of lube
2 key chains, one was for a travel agency, the other was a pig that had a bath haus logo on it
1 double disc gay porn called, Woodsmen (for Earth Day)
a 50 dollar gift certificate for tanning
1 used-feeling beach towel
1 gift certificate to a room for men (whatever that means)
and 1 plant named Hank.

On the bus ride home I thought I was going to pass out. When my friend finally called me back she was at a Wendy's and trying to figure out how to order. She asked about drag queen bingo. She didn't cry. She did say, "I wish I could turn back time, be a better friend, be a nicer person." I told her that her friend had said wonderful things about her. I suggested she get a cab home and that she order the Spicy Chicken sandwich. And I kept saying, "It's just so sad" over and over again, like it would've helped.

I thought about what she said. I thought about being a better friend and being nicer. She is the nicest person I know. I thought about what I should've said. Somehow things like, "At least it happened quickly" didn't seem helpful or appropriate when you are talking about a 29 year old. I thought about telling her what I was thinking, "We could all die at anytime." But, I didn't say that. It didn't need to be said. I thought about how I didn't offer her anything, but there was nothing to offer. If only I was magical like the drag queens seemed to be tonight. While we were playing tonight someone had said, "Drag queens can cure anything." But, as I found out when going up to claim my prize, they were just regular people in cracked cake makeup and plastic dresses downing cocktails because they had to.

Tip of the Day: Be in that high school death scene when it arrives. Remember that death is a huge part of who we are. And know, there is no right thing to say. And, no matter how nice you try to be you'll never be able to avoid the, "I wish I had been nicer." But, you can always be a better friend, even if in a crisis all you have to say is, "get the spicy chicken," and "take a cab tonight."

-Canadian Castaway