Day 189
This morning I woke up and went onto chat to ask my friend what strep throat feels like. I have had strep throat many times, but seriously, I can't remember my own grandmother's birthday let alone some sort of infection I had 17 years ago(Note: my granda is my favorite person in the world). My friend responded that it, "feels like swallowing shards of glass." Now, I am confused. What does a person have if every time they swallow it feels like huge, fatty chafing thighs rubbing together? And, is there a pill for that cause I'd like to feel better I am such a whiny girl when sick.
Today I went to the video store to return a movie that the movie store clerk not only recommended to me but was acted in. When I asked him a week ago if there were any Canadian high school movies I should watch he pulled out this film, and he pointed to the dorky guy with glasses on the cover and said, "You recognize him?" I've never rented a movie from a guy who is in that movie. I wonder if he recommends this often? Is this his way of hitting on people? I love me the geeky guy in a low budget film about having a party. Or, does this make him neurotic?
When I walked into the movie store I said what I had rehearesed in my room. "I liked it." Hand it to him. "I especially liked the pubic hair and handholding." I was so proud that I nailed that line that I missed his reaction as I was throwing myself a party in my head. I faintly recall hearing him say, "What if they were at the same time." But, who knows what he said. I am guessing it was positive because every time I made a comment to my friend he chimed in from across the room. "Don't get Jesus Camp again! Watch Hell House it's way crazier." And, when my bodyguard was telling me I shouldn't waste my money renting movies I'd already seen the movie store clerk said, "You are not allowed to come in here with her anymore." I must say, whatever the deal is with this dude, it was pretty amazing to see the nerdy Hawaiian-shirt clad movie star guy come to my defense, or was it the defense of the store? Damnit. I am just gonna as Journey puts it, "Don't stop believing. Hold onto that feeling."
After I that I hopped a bus to get a pizza and go to a coffee shop before having to poison the minds of high school students. I met a friend on the bus and we talked for a bit. He told me that the Ode to Pizza poem that is framed in the pizza by the slice joint was written by this dorky undergrad I always fight with. My first reaction (from what was the old me) was to be super negative about it. Shit, now I can't like that poem anymore kind of malarkey. The new me (the mood swing-y PMS me) thought, now he has a redeemable characteristic making him a more likable person. I have since rethought my take on this position. Just because someone has a likable quality doesn't make them likable or less of an asshat.
Today I finally did it. I said, "shit" in front of my high school writers. If that wasn't bad enough I interrupted my co-teacher when she was saying that writing is like a muscle. And, if interrupting my co-teacher isn't bad enough, interrupting her by saying, "I hate your metaphors,' is a probably grounds to kick me. Later, we heard that one of the kids had performed in a play my co-teacher said, "You should've invited us, we would've like to have gone to that." I added, "Yeah, because all we do at night is sit in our rooms and cry." Luckily, the kids laughed.
Later myy co-teacher told an anecdote how this musician she used to date once hated Harry Potter just because reading Potter books was mainstream. She intended this as a poor example of how someone should judge literature as some of it is larely considered good is good for a good reason. After she was finished talking though I said, "See and that was a commercial for why we don't date musicians."
Some of kids talked about writer's block. I told them they should go sit in cafes and spy on people. I told them that not only is that how I spent this very afternoon, but how I spent high school. Well, how I spent high school when I wasn't drunk, getting arrested, or high. Geez, I would teach high school, but considering the unpredictability of my hormone-laced mouth I may not be a good candidate or influence.
I can tell you what I don't want to be; a bartender. Tonight I was working when a creepy, probably insane, and definitely drunk, old man ambled into the bar. Since he is our liability I had to kick him out before he hurt someone or himself. He gave me crazy, I-may-come-back-with-a-shotgun eyes before being escorted out. I was scared and pissed off. I asked my friend what I was gonna do and she said, "Get a better job." I paused for a second. Get a better job rolled around in my head and stuck. I hadn't thought of that. There are jobs where scary men don't come in to harass you (well, where normally scary men don't come in and harass you). How can someone who hates her job and doesn't realize that she can change it get into grad school? Hopefully, this doesn't get out and I get kicked out of school for being, as my dad calls me, "a dumbshit."
So, not only did I not realize I could get a new job today my friend and I were driving through part of downtown. A part with dragons on the lampposts, Chinese characters on the storefronts, and Chinese men milling around. I asked my friend, "Where are we?" She looked over at me and paused. I stared back. "Uhh, Chinatown, can't you tell?" I think I have to apply for a grant and conduct a huge study. I need to prove that the water here is making me stupid so I don't have to believe that I am a moron.
I am wondering what a spinning class is. I was about to google this funny exercise technique, but I am afraid that it will take away the image of a roomful of fat sweaty adults on tiny Sit and Spins.
Tip of the Day: If you think your co-workers ass crack is hanging out resist looking.
-Canadian Castaway
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