Day 200 (Yay!)
This morning I spent watching Beyonce and Lady Gaga eat a sandwich. Getting through the long, pointless prison sequence to them in a car aggressively eating is well worth the wait, not to mention that after everyone (including a dog) is poisoned everyone still alive dances wearing American flag gear. Maybe poisoning is patriotic. Anyway, the only part of my morning when I wasn't dancing to Gaga was spent having my brother point a very real handgun at my head via gmail video chat. We have a good time.
When I finally left my room today my friend and I got ogled on the bus, had a trip to a french cafe, and then a long held tradition of mine was upheld. Turns out that buying silver glitter eyeliner and lipstick with names like Aftershock is the best way to spend your Sunday afternoon. I imagine many years from now doing the same thing. I just don't know what I am going to do with all the sparkles and Aftershocks.
The crazed guy who comes to my rez to show movies on Sundays came by tonight to show Up in the Air. He likes two things; mainstream movies that win awards and me. I would like him too if he'd shut up and listen to me, or not throw remote controls on the floor when the speakers aren't functioning. The good news about putting up with movie guy is that tonight's movie proved that George Clooney is getting hotter everyday. The funny news is that when the film ended my neighbor was upset. She summed up what the moral of the story was to her, "Get married." I heard her, but I was thinking the moral of the story was, "Damn, isnt' it weird how hot George Clooney's calves are? And, doesn't he look like an older Joshua Jackson." Maybe I missed something. Nah.
I watched an episode of Degrassi Junior High tonight. Spoiler Alert! (that looks so dumb) It's the episode where Joey Jeremiah gets beat up by a Dwayne. Scooter (tiny little nerdy kid with cheezies) then tells Dwayne, "You are a bully." Scooter offers Joey Jeremiah his cheezies instead of Dwayne. Okay, so it sounds dorky. Fuck you. But what I am wondering if I misunderstood the moral of this episode (see above, I suck at moral of the story shit). From what I understand the moral is: If you get beat up nerdy kids will give you free cheezies. Somehow though, I don't think that's what they were going for. But, I sure do love cheezies.
Once, about 8 months ago, I made out with a friend of mine on his pool table. I know, I used to be fun. Anyhow, today he messaged me on facebook to let me know he found my earring from that night in his house. This is how he wrote it, "found your erring from that nite. red white." I don't really remember that earring. But, I talked to him anyway. He had, "5 beeeerrs" before he found me online. He asked me when I am coming home, and then we plotted an evening. Apparently, when I go home I am going to his house to sit naked in his hot tub, drinking Mai Tai's out of real coconuts, watching The Lost Boys, and listening to Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again." Then he wrote "penis." Gee, I can't wait to go home and see what my earring looks like.
Also,
Dear Daylight Savings Time (you fucking dickweed),
Give me my friggin hour back so I can watch 2 more episodes of shitty Canadian TV from the 80s and paint my toenails before going to bed.
Love, Emily
Tip of the Day: Eating a plate of shitty pasta never helps.
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment