Day 212
It is now 2:42 am and I have just wolfed at least two servings of salami. This may be brief. Here we go:
I went to work today to find that the girl I was working with turns out to be a total bitch. Well, for about 2 1/2 hours and then she apologized suspiciously too much. The bagel sandwich I ordered didn't have cream cheese on it (that is why you order them, duh). I questioned my boss about whether or not scheduling me on April Fool's Day was a joke or not and she told me it wasn't. I had to wipe down salt shakers in a feeble attempt to look busy. I nearly cried 3 times. I wrote the special on the board incorrectly twice. The cook called me a crybaby. The other cook probably sneezed on my shitty bagel sandwich. But, after all of that, a guy with an Australian accent came in and called me "love" and wanted to know who I was and tell me that he skipped 3 classes today, and he was excited to try my special cranberry lime spritzer, and all of the bitch/no creamcheese-type things were worth it.
This afternoon I went to my friend's apartment for the first time. He lives in the backyard guest suite of some swanky house who inhabitants include some sort of positive energy guru type guy and his freaky family. The apartment came furnished with a fluffy white couch, a huge plant (which is now dead), and two giant Budda sculptures. I wandered through the house and came upon an opaque-colored glass door leading outside I inquired about where it exactly it led and my friend told me that it led to the home owner's backyard. We peeked out and he said, "I'm not supposed to go out there." I don't know what's creepier, the giant Budda sculptures or that he cannot go in his backyard.
Tonight I had to go to another reading. Translation: Creative writers gathering some place to read poems and short stories and essays, endlessly. While I was sitting at the reading, I fished out a Valentine with a find-all-the-marbles-in-this-scene type of cereal box crap on it and gave it to my friend who was sitting next to me. She was antsy as all hell and finding the marbles soothed her. On my other side my guy friend was leaned back and had his arm across the back of my chair. I realized at that moment that these readings are exactly like going to Lutheran church. I was sitting with my little family. I was the mother, my friend on one side my child, and on the other was the father figure. I laughed to myself at the comparison, seriously, the only thing missing were the hymns.
The only major contrast (besides lack of singing) between sitting through readings and going to a Lutheran church service is that at the church service there is super weak coffee and potluck food afterward. This is where my parents had told me to eat every Sunday, as this was supposed to be my lunch for the day. What I was never supposed to bring up was the fact that my own family never contributed to the potluck, only took. After the reading there is always a meet up at a nearby bar. Much booze is purchased and consumed. All in all, I'd rather the readings have the potlucks and the church services the beer.
Tip of the Day: When you see someone attractive shout out, "Hot, hot hot!"
-Canadian Castaway
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