Day 196
There is not much to say that isn't just a string of curse words. I will say that working a double shift is just as bad as working a double shift in the States. I am so hateful right now, I can't find words to blog with, so here are just a few things that happened, and I will sweet talk someone into video chatting with me to get all the curse words out:
When I was setting up the bar I pulled a table all the way across it the bar floor. My co-worker started to point and laugh. The table I had pulled left four continuous scuff marks all the way along the bar. Immediately, I started to imagine myself telling lies to the two managers that were seemingly omnipresent. I was going to tell them that it happened the night before or just pretend like I couldn't talk, or faint. The managers kept making circles around the area the entire day and I felt like a naughty kid. Then I remembered what it was like to feel like a naughty kid and wanted them to keep almost noticing it. They didn't. But, at the end of this horrible day I was glad that I marked up the floor and a little sad I didn't set the tables on fire. I think they might have noticed that, and I think I wouldn't lie if they asked me, "Emily, did you burn down the building?" "Yep, sure fucking did." Then I would wait a second and say, "Beeotch."
There was a couple with matching giant glasses that came in for lunch. The same couple also came in for dinner. When I brought them their supper plates I said, "Say, weren't you two in here for lunch?" They gave me a goofy look and mumbled, "Yes." "I was too," I said. The seemingly jolly couple didn't have anything to say. Apparently, if you sit in a bar all day and the person that works there points it out your not so jolly anymore.
I overheard one cook telling the other cook that she had just broken up with this guy because he refused to change his facebook status from "Single" to "It's Complicated." She said that when people asked him if he was dating her he told them, "Not really." She then said, "There is a big difference from 'Not really' dating someone and 'kind of' dating someone, a big difference." She said that the guy told her, "Of course I care about you. Would I spend 40 minutes going down on you if I didn't care?" This girl later told me that she is studying Psychology so that one day she can become a "matchmaker." Hopefully, no one asks to see references of her success thus far.
The best part of the day though was when there was a penny on the ground and one of our drunken regulars looked over at it, pointed, and said sincerely, "Is that a penny on the floor, or a piece of pepperoni?"
Other than all of that the night ended in a breakdown that involved me crying in a dirty stairway and a security guard telling me, "You need to focus on the positive of this situation." Luckily, my bodyguard responded to my weepy texts, walked in the pouring rain, hugged me, told me I was okay, and took my glass of rum away. Does Hallmark make thank you cards to give to bodyguards that become knights in drenched corduroy armor? They should, they'd get five bucks out of me, more if it were one of those fancy pop-up or musical cards.
Tip of the Day: Work jobs that you hate so that you remember why you are working so hard to get out of them, and then somehow, get out of them.
-Canadian Castaway
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