Day 154
Horrible news: I may not be able to rely on watching the Vlog Brothers video blog to be my life anymore. This is for two reasons:
1. I just remembered I am avoiding work on any sort of thesis-type project. After my meltdown about finding a narrative arc (still haven't found one) I sort of forgot that I had something bigger to worry about than my short story about a man who sells his Great Aunt's used merkins at flea markets and falls in love with underage girls who hate him. Hey, wait, is that a good thesis topic? I know I am supposed to do Creative Non-fiction (shit that actually happened to me) but who is gonna know that I wasn't one of these underaged girls at some point. It's hard to believe or for me to remember but I was once young underage which is quite hard for me to remember considering I was drunk for most of the years between 14 and 18 well, I was drunk if I wasn't high or sober drinking Welch's grape and making out with my boyfriend while Monty Python and the Holy Grail was playing in the background. I was a very busy girl.
2. I may have to get a life because there are some episodes of the vlogbrothers that I can't handle. I have no problem with a Peep eating contest but when one of the brothers gets on and talks about his full body rash in extreme detail I start to itch myself and praise Ganesh (the deity with the pink elephant head, duh) that these videos are only four minutes long...but, I am still a touch itchy.
So today I was at a coffee shop in an interesting part of town. There are average people mixed with drug dealers and scary old men which beats the hell out of the undergrads mixed with snooty grad kids mixed with stodgy professors. Anyway, the coffee shop was quite crowded and some stranger came up to me and asked if he could sit at my table with me. I told him I had a friend coming. Then the lady at the table next to mine said, "You can sit with me." This was all fine except her tone--it implied that I was an asshole for not letting some strange man sit with me while I am trying to work. So, creeper sits down with my neighbor lady table and the first thing he says he says somewhat seductively, "So, I see you are studying..." In my mind I thought, 'Hazzah, take that bitch. He is just preying on women who are stupid enough to let him sit with them.' Then I looked over at her and she wasn't horrified, in fact, she seemed to enjoy his company. Drat.
I had to work with the asshole man who ferociously hits on anything female and says inappropriate things. Tonight I learned that his inappropriate behaviour extends far beyond just what he says. Here's the evidence: He walks in wearing a jacket, shorts and sneakers. I greet him and he says, "I don't have a work shirt. Where am I going to get a work shirt?" Now, keep in mind he has worked at this pub for about 6 years and I haven't been there more than six months. I said, "Well, what shirt are you wearing?" He unzipped his jacket to reveal his large, yet highly situated round belly and huge tits then he looked up at me and said, "Am I sexy?" Five minutes later he told me I need to go to the gym.
Today I went to the high school to co-teach kids Creative Writing. One of the girls told me that she really likes historical fiction. And, since the meeting is in the library, she pulled several copies to demonstrate what she liked. Me, being the type of person who shouldn't educate children, flipped open one of her books and read the first sentence aloud and immediately went on a rant about why it wasn't a good opening sentence. Just before that I told all of them that J.D. Salinger was romantically involved with 17 year old girls (I am not sure if that age was accurate or not). Is this something one needs to know when they are studying Creative Writing? Maybe.
After much trouble and set up an old friend and I started google talk video chatting. The conversation went down in a similar fashion to my brother and my conversation yesterday but instead of showing each other objects we focused mainly on making faces and showing each other our ears up close. We came to the decision to make it mandatory to tape our faces up like Pee Wee Herman in Pee Wee's Big Adventure every time we google talk video chat. I suggested she tape up the faces of her entire family, take a photo, and use it for Christmas cards.
Derby Training Day 6:
I put on my skates and skated around my room until I nearly died when the lace got caught under a wheel. So now, not only am I not wearing gear, I am also failing to tie my skates. I don't know what will happen next. It's a real thrill.
Tip of the Day: Too much dressing can ruin a Caesar salad but too much cheese will make it all better.
-Canadian Castaway
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