Day 146
So the residence where I live is raising funds to send to Haiti. This is a wonderful thought. I was impressed with my fellow impoverished grad students for their contributions but I was not impressed with the email threat I received as a result of this fundraiser. The email states that the wings of the residence hall are in a competition to see who can raise more funds for the relief effort (again, this I can deal with). But, the email also says that the wing who loses is going to be woken up by the fire alarm system at 7 am every day for a week and forced to serve breakfast in bed to the other wing. If this is supposed to be funny then I have no sense of humour (note: unintentional Canadian spelling ahh assimilation). I did my part. I emailed the snooty little brat who sent out the threat message. I wrote, "If this is true I am going to assassinate you." Maybe I should've added, "I'm joking if you're joking..."
You know you are addicted to a TV show when: you watch your friends Cambodian pirated copy of it and arrive at an episode that you've already seen 4 times and the sound doesn't sync up to the moving of the characters' mouths but you watch it anyway.
Today I officially started the short story that I promised to write over Christmas Break. Whatever, maybe I'm still on Christmas break. Anyway, so not only does the merkin dealer in the story sell pubic hair wigs he also has a crush on a 15 year old girl. Maybe next he'll go home to his wife who is a goat. Wait, Albee already did the goat sex thing. Okay, so maybe his wife is a bearded lady, no too easy. Or, a handless cobbler. Maybe his wife is a, a---wait, if someone would marry a pedophile used merkin dealer then why don't I have offers pouring in? Huh? I guess real life is much, much stranger than fiction. But, in real life you can't marry goats they are too non-committal.
Yahoo.ca, my favorite news source, published a piece today that said if you have a job where you are sedentary then you have higher risks for health problems. Fascinating and shocking. Gee, I learn ever so much from yahoo. There is also a headline that reads,"'American Idol:' The Top 10 Things the Show Needs to Fix." This is a tad more riveting but when you think about how somebody actually took the time and initiative to write this list down and then had the balls to post it which admits that they had the time and initiative to write this down it's a little scary. But, it does make me want to meet this person. I wonder if they would watch Idol if it didn't sync up to the mouths of the performers?
After yesterdays shock of being unfriended for the first time I logged onto facebook unsure if others had joined in the unfriending revelry. But, it turns out I was re-friended (another new word, thanks facebook) by the same person who unfriended me. This was troublesome. Does facebook just assume that I would want to be his friend again? I mean, I got no notification of him unfriending me in the first place and now, now he can just refriend me without my permission? I have a moral code, you know. If someone in real life unfriends me I don't speak to them ever again and I write nasty things about them to make myself feel important. I would never refriend. Should I have read the policy and terms for facebook before I just clicked that I had read them? Was there some sort of mandatory forgiveness clause hidden in there?
During class today I got to hear how Canadians assume Americans think about healthcare reform. Okay I will back up: my (American) classmate wrote a profile piece on another American who was taking issue with the healthcare reform in the States. As we workshopped this piece the Canadians in the room (those blessed people that have not lived a day without being covered by insurance) told the room what Americans thought about healthcare without acknowledging the three Americans in the room. And, I thought these were polite, unassuming people. But then again, I am not Canadian so I would never assume I know what they are thinking or tell them what they are thinking. (heee hee heeeee)
Alright I am off to a pub where women wear tiny red skirts as part of their uniform. Thank you so much for paying attention to the women's rights movement. I hope there is a male server so I can ask him why he doesn't wear a skirt and if he gets paid more because this is obviously an archaic and sexist place. I'm not bitter, just bitchy.
-Canadian Castaway
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