Day 135
Today I finally bought folders and notebooks. I did not brave the undergrad germ festival that has become the bookstore instead, I went to Staples. I suppose I could've finally just purchased grown up stationary-type items, but, the pink skull folders were on sale. Okay, so the folder with the sea turtle and the one with the Bengali Tiger on it were regular price but sometimes you have to splurge especially if it means the difference between getting noticed in class or not. The only issue is that as an adult when you get noticed with a super awesome sea turtle folder people just think you are a creepy freak or stole it from your kids (and I don't have any kids).
Confession: I was asked out by a guy I don't really want to date and later was asked for dinner on the same day as the proposed date. So, I told the date that I had made other plans a long while back and forgotten them and is it alright if I skip out on the movie. I don't know if this makes me a liar, a cheat, or a pussy but none of them sound very good. The real kick in the ass is that the dinner is not even happening on the proposed date night it is the next day. Do I text him and ask to hang out or hope that I don't see him tomorrow around 7 pm? This my friends is why you shouldn't lie it just makes things ridiculous and no matter what you do you come out bad and/or wondering what trick karma will lay on you.
The rest of the day was spent pretty much in the pub. First, working and then hanging out. Here are a few things that happened and that a few things I learned:
Danish men will tell bartenders that you sexually harassed them to try and get a free beer. Okay, so you and a friend may have been staring at his crotch, but...
My Brazilian crush likes to flirt with me while I am working and after work likes to tell me how American girls wear bikini bottoms that look like diapers in comparison to Brazilian bikinis. He also told me that in Brazil women don't play games; you kiss and then get to know each other. Good to know his flirting with me who didn't kiss him right away means nothing even though I thought it meant something.
Sometimes drinking Monster energy drink doesn't make you feel like your life is less boring but makes you anxious and paranoid and realizing how boring your life is.
When you bring a sandwich all the way across the restaurant to someone you vaguely know make a joke about, "Geez, that was a long walk." And see if they say, "Oh, you are just saying that to mine for tips." If they do you will know they are a douche you should never talk to again and make note that you should probably mess with their food next time.
If you get sucked into a "Name the Provinces of Canada" game you should probably be drinking so you can blame alcohol when you can only name seven of them. You could confess that the schools in the U.S. didn't map out the provinces of Canada on their 8th grade World Geography map or tell them that we already had to remember 50 states what more do you want? But, instead of looking at these things as "Ohh, poor you and your shitty educational system" they will more likely think, "Lazy, uneducated American." The good news is in Canada they won't tell you their nasty thoughts because the folks up here are too polite. My question is but how polite can you be when you are still thinking nasty thoughts?
-Canadian Castaway
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