Day 142
Today started with last night. At 2 am or so I finally asked my facebook lover why he doesn't talk to me in person. He lives in the same residence that I do and when we see each other it is like he forgets how to speak plus, he can't look me in the face. I know I am dazzlingly beautiful in person but really, speechlessness from a guy who calls me a goddess online?
There was a long, long pause before he answered my original, "Why don't you talk to me in person" query and then he typed, "haha." Then he typed something poetic and to which I wrote, "Say what you mean." He made some flimsy excuse about how he never sees me (I guess all those awkward glances were just a newly blind man staring at nothing?). I write, "Oh, so you aren't pissed off at me for an unknown reason or terrified of me." He writes, "No way you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen! How could I be pissed off at you?" Okay, so that's not exactly what he said, I corrected the poor typing like "Noway" and "of" and the ridiculous way he puts a space before his exclamation marks. What did I see in this wanker? Seriously, if he is so choosy about his words the least he can do is type them properly.
I think him saying I was beautiful was supposed to make everything okay but it made me want to go to the library, check out a book on masonry, apprentice with a mason and finally produce the perfect brick to throw through his window. Here is the final chapter:
Me: I don't know how you can say these things when we don't even hang out, I mean I appreciate it but I don't get it.
A pause passes long enough for me to eat a Snickers bar and brush my teeth. Well, technically I didn't do either of these things but that was exactly how much time I had. Anyway...
Him: ohh
hahah
i am just bullshittin here
:)
So, 2 months of serenading me with flowery phrases on facebook chat and now I find out it is all just a joke. He's lucky the library isn't open or I really would've got that book and made my brick, I'd thought. But, there are other things that can go through windows. So, if that whole mess wasn't horrid enough he tried to facebook chat me all day. I answered his, "Hi. Are you there?" With, "Yes but I am busy plotting how to tell you wonderful lies until you believe them and then I will tell you that it was all a joke." Okay, so I wish I would've said that. Instead I said nothing.
Even more facebook drama occur ed today apparently if you put: "Bandejo, como se dice: I am going to kick your ass?" on the wall of the cute Mexican guy who likes you and you like back he doesn't take it as a joke. Which is probably quite accurate because it isn't really funny. What is funny (in the odd sense, not the haha sense) is that you will go around the rest of the day feeling bad you said it and not be able to apologize because you don't want to admit you are a jerk. But, don't worry your friends will say tell you are a jerk and you can continue to feel bad. Don't worry though at least you won't be bored for a few days because you can imagine all of the possible scenarios in which you will see this man again and how you will say you are sorry and how he will react.
So where I am in the Great North country it has been pouring rain for weeks. Today was a rare break and the sun came out which initially makes one very happy but then the sinking feeling hits. The feeling when you know you should leave your room and go out into the world but you just can't stop watching The Gilmore Girls episodes that you've already seen like 4 times each. The worst part is that this feeling is worse than the doldrums experienced from the lack of sunshine.
You know you have a good group of friends when you can sit around and seriously discuss the dilemma of to shave pubic hair or not to shave. But when one of your friends says, "Yeah, I see how it could be convenient so you don't get a mouthful of hair when you are going down on someone," it's all over. "What the hell do you do?" and, "If I am going down on someone I don't want to get my teeth flossed" is said then an awkward head shaking silence and then we move on to something less interesting and we are all left to wonder exactly how and why one could get "mouthfuls."
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment