Day 141
Today I learned that I am in a better mood than I was last term. I met up with a friend for a milkshake and she told me that she and several others have discussed my state of being and come to the conclusion that I am a better/calmer/saner person this term. I went on for a bit telling my friend that watching The Girls of Hedsor Hall really changed my life like how I learned that I shouldn't go to parties, get hammered and make out with strange guys who ask, "How big is too big?"I also told her that I am allowing myself to be nice to myself. I even opened up to her and told her that I had thought I possibly had feelings for my bodyguard last term but then came back to school to realize that he's a nice guy but he's kinda boring. And finally I said, "I can't believe you guys noticed my change in mood." Then she said, "Yeah, we thought it was the crystal."
So, if you didn't read the blog about it I went to a crazy cult-ish party that just so happened to have a crystal wizard in attendance who just so happened to give me a crystal. Everyone that night was jealous because I was the only person who was given a crystal. The wizard said, "I have no control over them they just go to who they want." And now, months later, my friends are babbling on about how my mood has changed and think that it must be because of some crystal and not a change of heart. In fact, my change of heart story bored the shit out of my friend. She still thinks it's the crystal.
Whether or not it's the crystal or my change of mood I have been somewhat like guy flypaper lately. Tonight in a half an hour I had two invitations for dates from two separate men. The first one was a tiny Mexican man with a slight lisp who told me that he wears either a black or navy-colored Speedo to the pool. He asked why I was laughing and I told him, "I am trying not to imagine what you look like in that Speedo." He then rolled up his pants and showed me his legs. Later he asked me to go to a dance club and gave me a lecture stating that he got an award for being the ugliest kid in school when he was young but he's not ugly anymore (so he says). He also told me that women like him because he has brown skin. "Someday I am going to move to Eastern Europe and be very successful with the ladies," he said and leaned in. "They all love brown-skinned men there." Then the only other woman at our table looked up from her meal and said, "Not all of them." "How do you know?" he asked. "I am Eastern European," she said.
The second guy who asked me out came over and knocked on my door. I was in my bathroom at the time and so I closed the bathroom door thinking it was my friend who just bursts in after a knock. She did not enter. I opened the door to find the pseudo-date man standing on the other side. Here is what was said:
ME: Holy shit you scared me."
GUY:I never closed the bathroom door when I lived in this building either."
ME: Did you come in and see me in the bathroom?"
GUY: No, I just heard it."
ME: Oh, you really did scare the shit out of me.
GUY: So, when do you want to watch Back to the Future together?
So far I sort of like Bachelor number 1 better but he doesn't own Back to the Future. Hmm...
Okay so I have always been a Juliette Lewis fan but what is the deal with her band? The music is alright but I just watched the video for "Hot Kiss" and was wondering a few things. So the song is "Hot Kiss" and yet she doesn't kiss anyone. Who wakes up wearing a squaw headdress that children wear for Halloween and why is she in a workout outfit from the eighties? Why does she stare at an old man in a car? Why does she just run down the street in high heeled boots? I can now share the same sentiment my father shared with me after he saw the first 10 minutes of Napoleon Dynamite: "This is a piece of crap. All that is is 10 bucks and a video camera."
Lesson: If you do not close up your cookies they will go stale but you will eat them anyway, they just won't be as good and you will hate yourself.
Lesson 2: If you are going to see A Serious Man at the cheapie theater make sure you sit directly in front of a couple that contains an old man who gives the movie play by play in a loud voice to his date for confirmation of facts like, "She wants a divorce?" Maybe he couldn't hear the movie but what would be the point of watching a movie that you can't hear. Then I wondered, if he can't hear a movie playing in a theater he could never use an alarm clock to wake up because he wouldn't be able to hear it. That would suck.
-Canadian Castaway
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