Day 127
Where to begin? it's nearing 3:30 am and I made it home from the New Years celebration not drunk although the combination of water, salami and 60 pepper hummus swimming around with traces of bison grass vodka and pieces of chipped glass in my stomach isn't altogether unpleasant but may expunge itself at any time.
So, as I have written about before I was hit on my a fellow in my rez during Christmas break via facebook chat. Now, I have only been back less than two days and have run into him four times. Each time not much was said and I couldn't look him in the eye. I chatted with him on facebook chat telling him that I was reminded of the time I accidentally punched him in the jaw. He, of course, claimed it was on purpose. I, of course, told him that next time it would be. And then, instead of writing lol or a smiley face he wrote that he would hit me next time. Now, I know it's hard to tell tone when someone is typing but I am not too keen (Canadian word) on someone hitting on me by threatening to hit on me.
The first party of the evening was a fondue party. Before the festivities (supper) the hostess invited everyone to help out in the kitchen. So, I took my nail polish and painted my nails while watching three men grate cheese I was keeping them company, that is helpful.
After that I was sent to watch that the potatoes didn't boil over and instructed to poke them to see if they were cooked. This was a much harder task but I took it on as a challenge. During this task a fellow from a country whose name I get mixed up with the name of a pop art painter was thinly slicing cucumbers next to me. I tried chatting with him and he said, "You make me very nervous." And with that he killed the conversation and I gave up my potato sitting post in retreat. What is the proper response to that? I said, "I didn't mean to make you nervous." This seemed like a good option except that when I said it a tone of snarkiness leaked out. I am starting to think I should've leaned over and whispered into his ear, "Are you nervous now?" and then sneaked in a wet willy.
The second party of the evening turned out to be 1 straight man and 8 gay men. We had a jolly time peeping into the windows of the neighboring high rises from our 7th floor perch giving play by plays of the drag queen across the way taking pictures of herself. There was also the talk of Star Trek a topic I know nothing about (apparently watching a documentary about Trekkies doesn't count). There was also the photo album of pics chronicling the life span of our host. A quarter of these photos were him naked in or near water. There was the good half hour spent searching for chocolate cake recipes in their bedroom which has the biggest bottle of lube I have ever seen in my life just sitting out on the dresser like it were an oversize sculpture. Most of them had not seen any John Waters movies which surprised me. One of the men when referring to another gay man said, "he's in the tribe." The best part was when we all went out on their balcony and one of our party was screaming, "Happy New Year" over and over while one of our hosts said, "If you guys get us evicted I will kill every one of you."
The bus ride home was packed and I ended up standing next to a seated straight couple. He was from Australia and she was Canadian. Accent aside the man was gorgeous. He went on and on bashing the girl next to him who took it remarkably well like it were some old routine. He said, "Look at that face do you want that to be the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning." Or, "If I got off the bus and ran before she got off I could go home and get a decent nights sleep." "I just picked her up at the bar and I don't really like her." But, with his accent something like that sounds like, "I love you and you are beautiful and I am not just saying that."
Finally, my bodyguard and I were off the bus and walking home. Usually he stops to pee in some bushes but tonight there was no public pissing. Tonight there was him trying to tell me that the plants and the trees are alive and not just biologically. We walked down the street with him touching every plant along the way saying, "Hello." He then looked to the sky and said, "Imagine if those clouds weren't there..." anyway, this ended with him saying that he can see a supernova and a nebula or some such bullshit. Anyway, I made it home and was able to ditch the crazy man...for now.
-Canadian Castaway
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