Day 156
Today was horribly boring and somewhat confusing. First of all, my ankle was sore, but not as painful as it was last night. So, I hobbled to the bank where I wished I had my headphones on so as to avoid being greeted by the greeter man--we had a falling out over an ATM. I still refuse to deposit checks through them no matter how fail-proof he claims them to be. The reason I had to hobble to the bank is that my online banking doesn't bank. If they put a "Transfer Funds" option on the list you'd think it would transfer funds. But, I am not mad. I just love going to the bank and hiding from the greeter and not fully trusting the teenage-looking girl handling my transactions but I must say the Japanese dude with the muscles was worth the hobble.
So today was REALLY friggin boring. The only exciting things about today had to do with what I consumed.
1 box of Cheese Nips
1 cup of coffee leftover from yesterday
2 Lifesavers Wint-o-Green mints
1 bag of Cheetos
1 Hershey Cookies and Cream bar
3 cups of weak bar coffee
1 tall can of Monster (the kind that explodes when you unscrew the lid and a puff of Monster gets in your eye)
1 apple
1 "Sparkling water beverage" loaded with aspartame
1 glass of watered down Diet Coke
2 glasses of water that tasted like dead fish smell
1 bag of organic popcorn covered in salt and pepper
Leftover squash ravioli in oily mushroom sauce
1 Canadian version of a Cream Saver (instead of saying "cream" they call it, "yogurt-flavored")
and finally, one Chicken Caesar salad with bacon
God keeping a food diary is depressing and makes me want to go bulimic. This food list is also the reason why I live in a building that provides meals as it is proof of how I cannot feed myself like an adult.
The only other things that were exciting that happened today happened at work:
1. The Indian dude I think is hot came in and was wearing a hot outfit. That included a green vest.
2. The Engineering students had a party in the pub. Not only did they put an entire swing band together for the event they all wore their Engineering jackets. Sure an entire swing band playing super awesome cover songs is cool but not as cool as red jackets with all sorts of homemade patches on them. They looked like a cheap form of a letter jacket from high school that jocks wear combined with Girl Scout sashes filled with badges. The best part is that they were so proud of these jackets that none of them took them off despite being in a warm, crowded bar. Or maybe they didn't want to show off their pit stains. Imagine what one of those jackets smells like. I wonder if they give them to their girlfriends, assuming they could get girlfriends which I totally think they could there was something mysteriously sexy about the guys with tons of badges...
I went to a special on-campus library today to check out a book called, Dork King as the book I wanted to read from the library is covered in food remnants from the previous reader. The girl working behind the counter checked out my book for me without saying one word during the transaction. What the hell was that? Am I old-fashioned to expect some meaningless small talk? Would it have killed her to say, "Hello." or "Is it still raining?" or "Have a super awesome fantastic magical day!" Not only was I shocked but I realized that this sort of behaviour was downright un-Canadian. It's an outrage. I should've looked for a comment box. I mean shit, if I can assimilate to this wacky Canadian-nice culture when I am not even getting paid then this witch can muster up something while she gets 17 bucks an hour.
Derby Training Day 8:
So, I didn't get on my skates today but at least I can blame this on my drunken ankle injury. The only problem is that since I told everyone I know that I was going to train for the derby friends have been asking me how it's been going. I am starting to get sick of faking an enthusiastic reply so instead of getting on my skates just yet I was thinking of spending the skating time writing and recording an enthusiastic response to these nosy, alleged well-wishers. I will them carry my voice recorder with me and press play back while I move my lips as though I am actually saying the words. The only thing I am worried about is having to fake enthusiasm with my facial expressions. Nobody will notice right?
Truth of the Day: Sometimes no matter how many Monster energy drinks you consume or cups of old coffee you just can't wake up and that makes it damn hard to turn down the cocaine your co-worker offers you but you know that (hard) drugs are bad. Too bad you can't just say no to that bag of Cheetos if only they could relabel it so it says, "Cocaine" instead of "Cheetos."
-Canadian Castaway
No comments:
Post a Comment