Day 121
Today I watched my brother vacuum his car. Merry friggin Christmas. This was one of the most exciting events that have occurred over the past two (Christmas) days, here are a few others:
We went to go visit my grandmother today. My mother gave her a cranberry-colored sweatsuit and she cried tears of happiness while in the other room another resident was making all sorts of racket. I spent most of the visit trying to discern whether he was moaning, puking, crying, or yelling. I guess I'll never know.
Yesterday we had tacos for Christmas dinner. While we were consuming these tacos my brother accused my father of being a racist. My dad said he didn't like "shit for people." This is his term to describe all different sorts of ethnic minorities and white people who make meth. I kind of wish I would've pointed out that the taco he loved so much was a food from another culture.
Also yesterday I watched the movie, 13 Going on 30 which stars Jennifer Garner. It was an alright film (confession: I am a sucker for Romantic Comedies) except that it starred Jennifer Garner. I can't watch a film with her in it without spending the entire 112 minutes wondering what she eats, when she eats, and when and how she works out. Maybe I'll hold a telethon in her honor: Let's Buy Jenny G a Double Cheeseburger and Fries. Maybe if that succeeds we could move on to feed others like Kiera Knightly.
Tonight I watched the Charlie Brown Christmas movie. I love how it starts out: Charlie moping around saying that he is sooo depressed. I love how Lucy uses the word, "Incidentally." I love that when Linus is asked what he is gonna do with his blanket when he grows up he says, "Maybe I'll turn it into a sportcoat." I love how when Charlie Brown is super depressed to the point of maybe being suicidal nobody listens to him and calls him a "Blockhead.". But most of all I love that when I was a little kid I didn't understand any of this.
Tonight the weatherman wore a holiday sweater-vest over a holiday turtleneck. It was exciting.
I almost forgot, tonight when my mother was about to open a present from my father he said, "I bet you can't guess what it is. You'll never guess." She smiled and I rattled off, "I bet it's suet cakes for the birds." Guess what it was... I should walk on over to the nearest psychic studio and tell them I have the gift just like my friend did a few years ago, except I would be saying it for real. Hey, if they were so psychic why didn't they know my friend was coming and booby trap the door with a bucket of water? Maybe they don't have abilities like my suet premonitions.
I finished reading a huge book this evening only to have the last few pages be a dream. Not the Alice in Wonderland sort where the entire story was a dream, but still. I get enough of people recounting their dreams. The past month or so has been the "Recount my Dream on Facebook" chain reaction month. It's almost gotten to the point where I only check my account twice a day instead of ten times. I wonder if I could possibly dream that everyone on facebook who writes their dreams down as their status updates would get warts and boils...and then write it on my wall and then have it come true.
Wait, my mother just said, "Go away, I hate you," to me. That may be the most exciting thing that happened all Christmas, but it's hard to beat watching your brother vacuum his car.
-Canadian (U.S.) Castaway
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