Day 41
Today was fairly uneventful so I have decided to take the time to reflect on the things that I didn't anticipate happening in grad school, consider it an educational guide. Shit, if I come across a few hundred bucks (maybe if I get a beehive hairdo and a ride to the bingo hall) I will have this printed on pamphlets. Here goes:
What I didn't expect:
1. To have an Indian bodyguard.
2. To cry on the shoulders of a stranger in a bar and have them in an attempt to maybe comfort me or hit on me suggest that we "talk about boys".
3. Speaking of boys, I didn't expect to feel like a fifteen year old girl who gets crushes on boys and wears too much make up and wants to starve herself (don't worry, I'm not that ambitious). But, Jesus Christ, there are a lot of hotties racing around here.
4. to aquire an unhealthy addiction to Liquorice-flavored Altoids.
5. to write a snarky blog that I am too ashamed to tell people about. But, I secretly think is super cool (see, I am a 15 year old).
6. to have to walk so goddamn much.
7. to learn that European fashion is just European people wearing whatever the hell they can find and is not some sort of mythical secret that we Americans think it is.
8. Canada has cartoonishly large maple leafs, I think they are chemically-altered to be obnoxious (I am in the middle of that investigation right now).
9. that I came here to write, but I didn't know that meant to continuously update my facebook profile.
10. to have deadly mold in my bathroom that alters my brain, hopefully for the good. (Case Study currently in progress)
11. to meet people that actually seem like they want to talk to me. (Perhaps, their brains are being altered by mold spores as well).
12. to be called a pussy. Even though, I appreciate it, I didn't expect it.
13. to go to work at a pub and have the kitchen manager walk around with a bird in a box while a member of the kitchen staff tells a story that begins, "I saw a bird die today."
14. to attempt to learn Turkish on youtube. (I still think it can be done).
15. to become addicted to generic diet grapefruit soda.
16. to have a refrigerator named Herb who was born the same year I was.
17. to buy a pillow from Ikea that has the entire world cross-stitched on it (likely the handicraft of a 12 year old girl in a foreign country). What does my purchasing this mean?
18. to find out how un-green I am. Oh come on does a low-flow toilet save the world, really?
19. to find that I am the only person who walks around in shirt sleeves on a 50 degree day. Who is the pussy now?
20. to find that people from other countries think that the television show "Fraiser" was hilarious.
I am working on adding to my list and trying to find a distributor to send it out to all colleges with grad programs so that they can add it to their "What to Expect" sections of their boring handbooks that nobody (except me) reads.
-Canadian Castaway
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