Day 44
Today I was sitting in the library looking out the window (so much of what I do there is spying on people from the 6th floor) and I saw a big white bird swoop in. It went on the top of a garbage can, pulled out a paper bag and landed on the ground. I looked at the people milling around in front of the library and no one seemed to notice this giant bird with a paper bag in it's beak. Eventually, the bird lost interest and flew away leaving the bag on the sidewalk.
I thought on this for a moment. Maybe I should alert the environmentalist freaks to these horrid litterbugs. And, it's not just the birds leaving trash all over, the squirrels are just as bad if only because they have an easier time fitting inside the trash bins. Maybe all of the environmentalists would hover around trash cans with shotguns in the near future based on my anonymous tip. That's the only way to stop the little devils from their devious ways. Dirty little bastard scumbags.
While I was avoiding homework today I watched a video on yahoo.ca. I know I have harped on them before; about making animals do stupid tricks. But today I saw something even more horrifying, a baby who couldn't even stand on her own dancing to Britney Spears music. The tiny tot shook her butt and played with the stereo system, beating her right hand on a cabinet like Eminem directing his fans in arm motions. Actually, it would've been better had she been listening to Eminem, at least he's got a message. But, Britney, really? This child should be removed from the custody of her demented parents. Maybe I should spend my Saturdays on street corners with a sign reading, "Honk if you think Britney Spears fans should be sterilized."
Tonight I went with a friend to downtown. It was mostly full of sluts and derelicts. We walked up the somber streets avoiding eye contact and trying to keep up a conversation (one of our interruptions was from a man who asked, "Are you going to heaven or hell?"). We passed gated storefronts and road construction on our way to the club section of town. We nearly made it to our destination when I saw it; the most incredible feature of Canada...Claire's! If you are not aware of Claire's it is mostly a store for preteen to teen girls who like gaudy, cheap jewelry. Plus, they do ear piercing there which can be devastating to watch but always entertaining.
About a year ago a friend of mine and I were in a mall and rediscovered Claire's. We went a minimum of once a month to check out the ugly kitty cat earrings, tiaras, and hair clips. And downtown this evening I got to share this experience with a new friend. I flitted around the store trying on hats and holding up tacky jewelry. I watched a little girl get her ears pierced, trying to act tough in front of her mom, acting all embarrassed when asked if she was okay. My friend had never seen me so happy. I found so many treasures. Spending nearly 60 dollars on girly kid stuff is not a big deal, right? If I only do it once a month? Or maybe twice if I'm having a bad month? I might need to sell drugs to feed my plastic jewlery addiction.
After my friend dragged me out of Claire's we went to see hip hop acts that hail from my home state. The best part of the night was watching a security guard with a flashlight survey the crowd from the balcony. I wonder what was going through his mind. Did he enjoy his job? Did he always dream of one day wielding the flashlight? Did he have a quota to fill on catching pot smokers? Did he ever wish he got to be the guy that actually dragged off the delinquents? I spent the first half of the show watching in wonderment, until the beer kicked in and I got up the courage to do the white girl, I-don't-care-if-anyones-looking-but-I-wish-the-hottie-next-to-me-was dance. But, I'll never forget that man and the way he could point a light.
-Canadian Castaway
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