Day 53
After last night's bender I set about today to get things accomplished. I worked super hard and wrote stuff that doesn't mean anything. After the Komodo coffee started to wear off I called my mother. As I was talking to her I was making my bed when I heard my mini blinds rattle. My window was open but the blinds were down. I spun around expecting to see a criminal coming in to steal my beloved boyfriend (computer) what I saw will wake me up at 4 am for years to come. I saw a hand. It had long talon-like nails and was furry and black in color and separating the blinds. I could see eyes looking at me.
I screamed into my phone startling my mother who had a coughing fit. The hand and eyes retreated at my squeal. Did I mention that my window is only a foot wide and a foot high. It was a squirrel, not a friendly ninja squirrel but a black bandit invader type. My heart rate calmed and my mother's coughing turned to laughter. I waited to see which of my fellow residents would come rushing to my rescue, running in saying, "Are you alright? I heard a scream." No one came and my mother kept laughing.
Supper was worse than the invasion. I sat a table containing six men, including the guy who told me once, "maybe college isn't for you." Why am I such a moron? There were at least three completely empty tables in the back I could've sat at. Well, I saw my alleged movie buff friend there (not to say he isn't a douche) and sometimes we play a game where he sings me a song and I guess the movie it came from. But today the college-isn't-for-you guy was talking with movie guy and he asked movie guy if he'd seen High Fidelity and movie guy grinned in a I'm-such-an-ass way and said, "No." I dropped my fork with the giant unidentifiable bean still attached to it and said to movie guy, "I should bring a notebook with me to write down all of the reasons I hate you. I'm starting to lose track." He thought I was joking. ; )
After me and my beans went back to suppering the you-aren't-cut-out-for-college guy said to me, "I went to that bar you work at and had a bad experience." He then went into great detail and show about how he went to the bar and ordered a gin and tonic and had complained about the tonic and the bartenders ignored him and yada yada, boring, blah...
I'm not really sure what he wanted from me. To apologize? To confirm that he was right? To disparage my co-workers? To buy him a drink? Luckily, someone else who works at the pub came and sat down (God, I'm so glad he moved in here if he didn't have a girlfriend in France that he's gonna be with in 10 years I would ask him to marry me and sire my children). So, I tried to talk to my seatmate who was in a Statistics-induced coma (she didn't even get pissed off when I called her a "space cadet") in an attempt to not turn to the college guy and say, "You know I was there when your cocktail fiasco went down and we had a great time making fun out of what a pompous ass you were whining about your cheap gin and tonic. Thanks for that, oh and by the way we don't really care that you aren't coming back, in fact, since we now know this is true, I will be planning a party to celebrate never having to hear you bitch about your cocktail ever again."
The high point of my day came when I told some guys to take apart a blue ray player, and they did and on the inside next to Chinese characters was a sign that said to not open the compartment because it could result in exposure to laser radiation. We opened it. Anyway, after that we watched "17 Again" which was 1,000 times more awesome than I could've imagined. Just the close-ups of Zac Efron's eyes it is worth watching, but the story line and characters and dialogue blew my mind.
A lot of times when someone becomes a famous screenwriter (at least in the U.S.) they are interviewed and asked what made them want to become screenwriters and a lot of the time they say they saw a movie that "changed their life" and sometimes they say that they saw a movie and thought, "Gee, I could do that." (See Kevin Smith and Slackers references). I wish "17 Again" was the movie that I watched that made me say, "Gee, I could do that." But what it really made me say was, "Gee, I'll never be able to write something that amazing why bother trying." I looked up at the night sky and positive re-enforcement came racing back, "No, you can't think like that you need to devote your life to writing something at least as good as that and believe that it's possible." If I really bought into that crap my life would be so much easier. Too bad there isn't an optimism pill I can take to--wait, there is I think it's called Xanax. Hmm....
Anyway, I have to google image Zac Efron for a few hours and then get some sleep.
-Canadian Castaway
Tip: If you happen to eat an orange while watching youttube videos and not realize that the juice from it has dripped and dried all over your keyboard using your own spit to clean it up will not help especially if you have been consuming peanut butter before you lick your computer.
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