Day 46
It finally happened; Canadian Thanksgiving Day. I spent the entire morning in a crazed excitement much like when I was a kid and had to wait in bed until the sun would rise before I woke up my crabby brother and we secretly opened our gifts from Santa. Anyway, I tried to carry on with my priorities of the day but eventually found myself on a bus heading toward the festivities two hours early carrying a gaudy flower arrangement and staring alternately at the screen that ran the upcoming stops and the thumb of the guy next to me (he looked like a generic version of the Wolfman and his thumb was all scabby). I skipped up the street and promptly knocked on the wrong door of the house. I was directed to the proper door my very first Canadian Thanksgiving began. Here are a few highlights and observations:
1. I was delighted to meet my Canadian friend's mother thinking she must be an expert on the occasion. But, when I asked her about the story behind Canadian Thanksgiving, she said, "I'll have to look it up on the internet." She did look it up. The only thing I remember listening to her read off the computer screen was that Canadians started celebrating Thanksgiving in 1957. Whoop dee do.
2. The meal was much like in the U.S. The only exception, at least for me, were the brussel sprouts. After much speculation I tried one. They are like crack. I ate twice as many brussel sprouts as anyone else at the table. And was sent home with a container of them. I looked inside the container and only found 6 brussels, a mere snack. Will I get the shakes from withdrawals? Is there a 24 hour grocery store nearby?
3. The Canadian Thanksgiving did not have a Macy's Day Parade. One can never fully appreciate the importance of watching giant air-filled cartoon characters being dragged down a street until they go without it.
4. But, there was plenty of booze. There's nothing like being shit-faced in front of your friends mother at 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
5. We didn't have to go around the table saying what each of us was thankful for or sit through someone attempting to create the most incredible prayer ever made up on the spot.
6. There was Scrabble. I was the only player who had a teammate and we spent most of our time thinking of (but never laying) the word "ZIT". Guess who didn't win.
7. The best part of the evening was doing the dishes. Who'd a thought right? Turns out when you actually volunteer to do the dishes it doesn't seem like work. Or, it could've been the booze or the fun I had watching my friend scrub the same dish for ten minutes.
8. Today was a life-changing experience (no thanks to the lack of purpose the Canadian's put on their so-called holiday) I decided that my vegetarianism had gone on long enough. I mean seriously I really only did it to piss off my dad when I was 17 (and worked it like hell). So, tonight, I ate the turkey. It was amazing and at the same time I felt like the biggest fool. What a waste the last seven years have been, I could've been eating so much more succulent flesh. Had I not taken that first bite I wouldn't have known.
9. Alll of these exotic things but there was one rememberance of home at the close of the evening. My bodyguard walked me home and went on and on about how thankful he is about the opportunities he's had in life. Which, here's the part that makes me feel at home, led to an embarassing wave of guilt for my ungratefulness.
All said I consider today's festivities a success in proving that the Canadian's really are holiday whores. But, I don't frown on them for it, I exhalt their genius. These are people who don't have to call in sick to work when they need a day off they are guarenteed a day or two at least every month. Just think if you still faked ill, you'd never have to work.
-Canadian Castaway
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