Day 64
The raccoons have taken a new stance. They are multiplying AND when they see a human approaching they turn toward them and get down on their haunches trying to look tough (and they do look tough). If it weren't for the lady from London walking next to me I would've turned around and ran screaming. Funny how brave a stranger can make you. I still think we should set traps and buy shotguns, but it could just be my cultural background.
Before my favorite fellow American got into a sticky racial argument and before he mooned me we were enjoying a fine supper. I was telling him that I didn't want to see the Indian guy hobble around (he tore two ligaments in his knee playing soccer, a great reason to NEVER play soccer, ever). My big gay Hawaiian friend, my favorite American, let's call him Lester, started to laugh and tell me how inappropriate that my not wanting to see this other guy limp around was. Did I mention he almost got his ass kicked ten minutes later for racial remarks?
Anyway, we saw our favorite Norwegian coming in for supper, he sat at a table next to us. We took this opportunity to throw cauliflower and carrots at him. If we didn't live with such repressed nerds it could've led to mayhem, but instead it led to the Norwegian looking at me drying my eyes from the tears of laughter. He accused me of being an accomplice to the incident I told him that it wasn't true that I'd never do that sort of thing, that I was just sitting there minding my own business crying. But, somehow, he make me feel guilty enough to apologize to him at least ten times. Damnit, how could I let him ruin a food fight like that? I am getting weak.
Tonight I went upstairs to raid the kitchen cupboard for yerba mate. I'm not usually a tea drinker but his shit is amazing. An old woman I didn't know happened to be toasting something in the medieval toaster oven at the time and reacted to my frantic cupboard opening and slamming search. "Can I help you?" she asked. I told her I was looking for the mate. She opened a door and there it was. She asked me what it was. I launched into this, "Well, it's from South America and they drink it there like we drink coffee, it's really good you should try it sometime. But, I will warn you it's got a natural caffeine to it that can be a powerful stimulant." She looked at me funny. "You know like say if you have a story due on a Monday and you don't have shit done and you need to stay up all night and get super focused." "Like you?" she asked. "I don't know what you're talking about," I mumbled with a huge sachet of stolen tea in my hand. "Have a good night," I said as I creeped to the door thinking, "Who is she? She knows too much."
I will never quit facebook. I quit smoking and sexin' (well, not on purpose) and I will eventually quit drinkin' (on my deathbed) but never will I not log on. You'd think I would be sick of it by now, my ADD would kick in and I'd be bored and unable to focus. But, as today proves, life with facebook gets better and better. Today I've discovered the joy of posting comments on friend's walls that are actually directed at my friend's friends that I do not even know. It all started with a friend of a friend commenting on a post I'd made and ended with me inviting this friend of my friend to come and visit and have beers with me. It's not dangerous if they are a friend of a friend, right? Ahh, who cares I need to take more risks.
When your own mother hangs up on you and says, "You need to put pen to page," is it a heartfelt motivation for you to actually work on your writing skills or an excuse for her to get you off the phone so she can watch CSI?
God, I hate when I am smitten, it's like all you can think about are cheesy scenes from movies that will never happen in real life. The cinema is only false hope. It's close enough to real life to be believable but far enough from it to make it depressing (that shit will never happen). A friend of mine is accusing me of being in love with another friend (which I am, but don't tell her) and now, I have entered into a bet of sorts where I will have to risk (friendship) to kiss someone to hold up my end of the bargain. The bet is she kisses someone she likes and I kiss this friend of mine. Maybe, I should've told my co-conspirator that I never win bets mostly because my life really isn't like a movie no matter how much I pretend it is. Although, Halloween is coming up, maybe I could kiss my friend in disguise and if it went horribly (which it might, again we aren't in the movies) he would never know...right?
Well, I better get busy, it takes a ton of white wine to counteract the stimulants of the mate...
-Canadian Castaway
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