Saturday, October 10, 2009

Clothing Optional Beach, Other People's Boyfriends, Canadian Thanksgiving

Day 45

Today I finally made it to the Clothing Optional Beach that's across the street and down over a 1,000 steps. The bad news is is that it was cold today, which means less naked people to oogle at. The good news is that in the cold weather only the intensely insane get naked which makes for a good time. Well, except when you are the girl who has to watch everyone's stuff while they swim AND everyone had decided to dump all of their shit on a log next to the forty year old guy who was wearing a fleece top and nothing else. They left me (what kind of pals do I have making me watch their stuff and sit with half-naked strangers).

I looked around, the only other naked person or person at all was a good fifty yards away. The naked guy was sitting in profile I noticed, THANK GOD. I started to take photos of my friends and occupy myself going through my backpack and then I finally got up the courage to steal a glance. He had turned to face me AND he was smiling. My companions returned after only a few minutes in the icy waters. We chatted for a bit and laughed. I took 55 photos in an hour and still the guy was facing us his smile bigger than ever (at least I think that was the only thing that got bigger). I snuck glances every now and tried to get a good look. And, I discovered that I am strangely attracted to creepy half naked 40 year olds, NOT! But, I did realize that my sneaky glances may not have been so sneaky as I had thought and he most likely thought I was staring at him and thus that was his come-on smile. Ewwww!

So lately I've had a thing for other people's boyfriends. Yahoo.ca published an article stating that there a study that proved that women find taken men more attractive than schleppy single guys (but, who can trust that news source they think that baby's dancing to Britney Spears is humorous) Anyway, this is all fine and natural as long as I don't act on it and those boyfriends don't belong to friends of mine. You know where I am going.

I've always considered myself to be have certain standards and morals (just a couple). Until recently, I was a good person (relatively). But twice now I have blatantly hit on the boyfriends of my friends who were gracious enough to pass off my fliratious comments as jokes, though in one case my aggressiveness cleared a table of 12. One of these days these friends are gonna snap, right? Shit, I'm gonna have to learn Tae Kwon Do. No, everybody knows Tae Kwon Do. I am gonna have to study Kung Fu (perhaps I could learn this from the TV show, hmmm). What does it mean that I think about learning a complicated fighting style instead of learning how to stop flirting? Well, at least I still think that killing people is wrong (sometimes). Fuck that moral code shit it's too hard to keep up with. Where I could find a Master with a lot of tolerance for whining?

Tomorrow is a big day. It's Canadian Thanksgiving Day. These canucks are whores for holidays, they only have 5 actual work days per year because they are too busy celebrating. But what I can't understand is why they have to steal this holiday from the U.S. Besides, Canadians are thankful everyday unlike in the U.S. we reserve that kind of behavior for one day a year. Anyway, I wondered what the story behind Canadian Thanksgiving was so I asked a few Native Canadians. I mean, it's not like they could possibly have the same romaticized story version of the Native Americans saving our honky asses by sharing food with us (notice how there is no sequel to the story, we wouldn't want our hostile take over of their land and small pox-athon being told, it's not pretty enough for kids to know about).

The results of my questioning were somewhat inconclusive. I asked if there were pilgrims and indians involved (they poo pooed my use of Indians as they call Natives "First Nations" rah, rah, rah) they avoided answering. I asked what they ate at the meal and all they said was, "Turkey." said in a condescending tone like, 'What else would you eat on Thanksgiving?' Finally, I asked, "What is so special about your Thanksgiving then?" And was answered with, "Well, we have it before the U.S."

I was lucky enough to have been invited to this suspicious even by a Native Canadian. So, tomorrow we will see, we will see...

-Canadian Castaway

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