Day 50
This morning I dragged my ass out of bed and trudged over to breakfast. I could've slept in and missed out on breakfast but I have found that I am becoming more like my father everyday his voice echos in my own when I say to myself, "Well, if I am gonna pay for it I should be eating it."
Besides, breakfast here can be pretty fun with everyone's varying degrees of awakedness (is that a fucking word? I hope not). It can be so much fun to mess with people, their energy levels make them vulnerable. It is not fun when the person being poked at is you. (you think knowing this would stop me from being a jerk...)
This morning my amiga (or so I thought, well, I did fall in love with her boyfriend, but anyway) told me that it was super easy to lose weight and "change" my body. Translation: Hey fat girl quit your bitching and do something about it. She turned to me and said, "All you have to do is go to the gym 7 days a week for an hour and a half per day and when you get hungry you should have a protein shake, you know, the powder stuff--anyway, you have three of those a day and you'd be surprised at how fast the weight would come off. And, you don't eat sugar." Gee, let me get right on top of that, I thought, wanting to sugar my yogurt but fearing her wrath. Maybe I should find a different breakfast table.
So, in the name of true procrastination (or is it addiction?) I was on facebook all morning. I mean I was conducting some research for my thesis...whatever, the point is that I was stalking people online. (Really, what else is there to do on a computer besides stalk people and look at porn and bid on shitty toys from your childhood that you don't need) I found that many of my friends were posting lists of the things they'd done with their mornings. What is the motivation behind this? Are these so-called friends of my arrogant enough to think that people actually care? (I know, I read the shit, but it doesn't mean I care) Or, do they just write these updates to validate their existence, to prove to themselves that they do stuff. Or, (my favorite) do they just do these things so that they can write updates on facebook? It's not like I can ask them though cause you know, they are busy people doing stuff.
After the lecture at breakfast a friend of mine and I went out for her birthday. Well, we went out specifically for cake. This friend of mine is I wouldn't say a fat girl but she is not a stick thin supermodel either. Anyway, she gets a piece of cake and I get some gelato and we commiserate about how hard it is to find clothes that are big enough to fit us while we stuff our faces with chocolate. Now that's living (or denial, or a crutch, or a cocked up buddy system).
I was told by a couple people I know that people they know (stay with me) quit their jobs at the bar I currently work at because of sexual comments. Tonight the head cook came up to me and told me that he read a list once of the best sexual partners based on country of origin. He told me that the ethnicity of the guy I currently (well, one of them) am infatuated with ranked very low. Noting that they guys of that race were bad in bed and particularly sweaty. He then recalled the top countries of origin for magnificent sexual partners like Italy, France, Brazil, the U.S. (ranked 7th) and others. Now, I wonder if the people who quit their jobs based on sexual comments didn't realize that the cook is simply a wannabe sex ed teacher here to educate. I am not yet sure how accurate his teachings are but I am currently working on field tests and will get back to you just as soon as I am finished fucking around the world and posting all about it on my facebook page.
What the hell is wrong with Germans? Every time I encounter a German in Canada they are offended by what I say. Sometimes I am not even being rude. There was this one time I was gonna read aloud from a letter I received in the mail and the German next to me started saying, "No, no too much, too much." Tonight I met a friend of a friend who just so happened to be German. She didn't get any of my jokes AND she got pissed at me even though I specifically said, "Don' t get pissed at me." When I was joking around with another friend who was making fun of me my comeback to his teasings was, "What? What did you say? I can't understand you, why don't you learn English." He laughed and the German left the table. All I know is that if you happen to run into a German or (Bosnian) in Canada don't make any jokes and don't expect them to enjoy your company just get the hell outta there.
-Canadian Castaway
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