Offensive Breakfasts, Pub-ing, and Thievery

Day 6 (already)

Here's how the shit started:
"Hi."
"I'm Emily, what's your name?"
"*@#$*."
"What?"
"@#$%^"
"What? Maria, Mary?"
Another person, s-l-o-w-l-y, "Marianna".
"Oh, Marianna."
And then, I, in trying to cover my ass and stop stupid looks, rattle off some story about how I used to know this girl with that name and she wanted it to be prounounced differently or she'd get mad,lalala...and then I said something to the effect of do you get mad like that when someone mispronounces your name. And then, the slanty-eyed witch said something under her breath about being mad but holding it inside. And we left after I begged mother to hurry up because I couldn't stand the ice-y looks from queen "Marianna".

We proceeded to my room where mother accosted me for twenty minutes on how mean I am to other people and how they do not understand my jokes and how laughing at my own jokes is offensive. WHAT!?

So, why doesn't anyone look the other way around? Maybe old slant-y gaze with the rich kid smirk is the one who's being a jerk. I just didn't hear her name.

AHHH...now I feel better. Apparently the pub at which I am now employed has gone under scrutiny and paid fines for permitting underaged drinking. I was told they were really cracking down and carding. So, I start ID-ing everyone (except the ones with baldspots, well, baldspots with only thin wisps of gray to white hair circling their head skins) and, everyone is shocked and upset to be carded. And, the evening bartender ID-ed no one and then went on a rant about Japanese ID's, as though he were an expert detective. Hmm.

In other news I've decided to return to my lifelong passion of thievery. Where I have supper many people bring containers for extra food, and openly wrap up extra foodstuffs they snatched. Despite my history in the trade I thought I'd start small...tea bags. Today alone I procured four of them. The feeling came back...the thrill. Those two pairs of tea bags burned a hole in my pocket and scarred my thigh as I capered out the door, peering around to see if anyone had noticed and then, thinking I was too obvious, trying to strut in what I think is a cool fashion but to others looks more like John Wayne on Xanax. Today tea bags, tomorrow jewels...

-Canadian Castaway.