Labor Day with a U, movie endings, and smiling Canadians

Day 12

Oh Canada, you massive country with your collection of fake holidays. A friend and I went for coffee to celebrate whatever Labor Day with a U stands for, only to find the coffeehouse closed. There were no signs indicating that they were closed and the employees inside pretended to take no notice of our trek from door to locked door. Had this attitude been acceptable in the U.S.'s coffee/dining establishments I would work in them the rest of my life. The next coffeeshop we went to WAS open. When I ordered a black coffee the woman behind the counter mumbled, "Black, like your soul."

Tonight a group of us assembled and watched, Kinsey. The film was about a real life American scientist with an infatuation with first wasps and later, sex. The film was graphic but, had a semi-touching ending where Kinsey displayed the only bit of humanity he could. As the credits rolled by a European friend turned to me and said, "Ahh, what an American ending." After all we had seen in over two hours (acts of masturbation, full-frontal, a variety of sex scenes, etc.) that is what she said. I asked her how the movie had an "American ending" and she said that if it were a European film the main character would've died.

After the movie ended our dwindling group was joined by a smiling Canadian. He heard of a brawl I wanted to get into earlier in the evening when another American tried to tell me I was stupid (it was a joke, allegedly), and he wanted to know all about it. This was all fine and good I am not afraid of being, "dishy" (obvoiusly, read my blog). He then asked what she looked like by saying, "Was she hot?" to the only other male in the room. My mind was now shifted to hate him. We brawled a bit, verbally, though I'd really liked to have knocked the big shining white teeth out of his smiling head. And, then, he told me that we all had to be friends.

If being Canadian means that we have to all be friends I will stay American forever. Or, maybe, I should get a job at a Canadian coffeeshop so I can tell people what I think of them, uninhibited and for money, plus access to all the coffee I can drink. And, then, all hopped up on free coffee, I could write a European film with him as the main character. Guess how that movie would end...

-Canadian Castaway