Day 17
Today I discovered the best part about Ikea. Just as you enter the store and veer slightly to the left starts the zoo portion of the store (what, you didn't know they had a zoo at Ikea). In this wonderland hundreds of furry, low-maintenance (stuffed) pets dwell. And I thought Ikea was just full of cheap, crappy furniture that requires a funny little wrench. But no, this is a magical kingdom where you can find an ugly stuffed guinea pig for $2.99 and get hours of entertainment before you even leave the store. My new guinea pig and I frolicked through the "grown up" areas with me stuffing him into precarious places and taking photographs. Who knew that within the pseudo-rooms of the Swedish empire store would lurk a stuffed animal playground. I can't believe people go in there just to buy thrifty housewares. Suckers!
I used to play some sports growing up mostly so that my parents could get rid of me for an hour or two (I guess working full time jobs and having me in daycare wasn't enough time away from me). After I was allowed to stay home alone I discovered the joys of daytime talk shows like Jenny Jones, Ricki Lake, and Maury. In middle school and even high school I played a few sports, mostly so that I could get away from my parents. But, sporting activities after that seemed pointless. Who cares if you win a high school volleyball game, really.
If you'll notice (if you are still reading and if there is anybody reading this at all) in the paragraph above I refer only to myself and my views on sports, as I was reminded today others have differing viewpoints. Isn't it nice that we all have our own opinions. (gag) Anyway, friend of mine and I were lying on the grass studying when a fellow with soccer nets came over and asked if we could move as they were going to play a game. The only other grassy area was being occupied by a volleyball game, an, odd one at that, the players would clap for each other after EVERYTHING. We begrudgingly obliged trekking out stuff to the outter rim of the volleyball court.
All was fine until every two minutes we heard, "Watch out" as the ball would fly by our faces. Again, we moved as per their (and the ball's) suggestion. The only grassy area left was on the otherside of the building and was being tromped through by people coming back from the "clothing optional" beach. This wouldn't have been all bad if the beach goers could just pass you by unnoticed. But, among their steady parade was a few half-naked people and really, the ones who were clothed obviously came from the beach and you couldn't help but wonder what they looked like naked, a major distraction from studying (trust me these were not the types of people you actually wanted to think about without the cover of clothing).
You know, I am starting to understand a possible origin of the idiom, "Go take a hike." Hiking, that's a sport we all can enjoy, the jocks can leave and the nerds can be in peace.
You know Canada is supposed to be so beautiful, and it is, except for the critters. For some reason people here find raccoons (VERMIN) to be cute. Where I come from if you see a raccoon you take cover 'cause that bastard's got rabies and rabies mean a series of painful shots in the ass. But, it's not only the raccoons that infest this Northern land there are also the spiders. I've never seen so many varieties of spider in my entire life, each one as big as a twoonie. If giant spiders aren't bad enough there are cockroaches and the even more mysterious, miscellaneous bugs. I don't know what they are or what they could do, but you can rest assured that I will protect my guinea pig til the death or until a spider climbs onto him. Maybe I could suggest to the jocks the sport of bug extermination.
-Canadian Castaway
Being from the west, I can relate to the giant bugs, spiders and cockroaches. My father would often throw them at my brother to watch him scream.
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